Maybe poor Augustus Gloop feels a little more dignity today.

Puffin, the U.K. publisher of children’s books by Roald Dahl, including his most famous Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, are re-writing Dahl’s books to expunge language and descriptions deemed insensitive.

Even bald witches who wear wigs in one of the author’s stories get a re-write, including a new line in Dahl’s The Witches which reads:

“There are plenty of other reasons why women might wear wigs and there is certainly nothing wrong with that.”

In the case of Augustus Gloop, instead of the boy being described as “chubby,” which was the author’s vision and choice of language, woke re-writers hired by Puffin settled on a re-write that terms Augustus as “enormous.”

Puffin has said it hired a group of “sensitivity readers” to propose changes that would render Dahl’s children’s books more “inclusive.”

Numerous changes are being made, and the censorship changes Dahl’s original words, meanings and themes.

In the case of Augustus, for example, Dahl was making a pointed commentary about gluttony in the personage of the boy who was wholly consumed with consuming.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has been made and remade as a movie, with the 1971 version starring Gene Wilder (titled Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) enjoyed as a classic by multiple generations of children.

The censors have run wild with the project, even changing descriptions which have no arguable connection to being critical or demeaning to any group.

For example, one change in the book Matilda involves changing a character description which is merely unflattering.

Mrs. Trunchbull’s “great horsey face” has been changed to simply “face,” according to Fox News.

And, of course, in addition to everyone now being beautiful, no one can be described as less than brilliant, apparently.

In the same book, boys who Dahl described as crazy idiots had their IQ’s revised upwards by deleting an offending word: “eight nutty little idiots” has become “eight nutty little boys.”

A spokesperson for the company defended the publisher’s censorship actions to Fox News, even attempting to pass it off as more or less routine:

“We want to ensure Roald Dahl’s wonderful stories and characters continue to be enjoyed by all children today. When publishing new print runs of books written years ago, it’s not unusual to review the language used alongside updating other details including a book’s cover and page layout. Our guiding principle throughout has been to maintain the storylines, characters, and the irreverence and sharp-edged spirit of the original text. Any changes made have been small and carefully considered.”

Many of the same woke censors deforming Dahl are advocates for a growing medical industry of child “gender transitioning,” which involves removing perfectly functioning sex organs of children younger than 16. (See “MEDICINE KILLING THE OLD, MUTILATING THE YOUNG…AND DENYING UNVACCINATED BLOOD FOR YOU,” 13 Dec 2022.)

Those surgeries include dissolving boys’ testicles, performing radical mastectomies and hysterectomies on girls, and other disturbing procedures.

Woke advocates stateside are also decrying the removal of sexually explicit books from Florida elementary schools, under directives by Governor Ron DeSantis.

As words like “chubby” and “horsey face” are deemed worthy of memory-holing, woke activists are pushing for books with explicit sex depictions like the following to be allowed to remain in school libraries:

As Wearnews ABC3 reported, DeSantis has said about his guidelines, which give parents more information and say concerning books that school libraries contain:

“With our curriculum transparency, parents are concerned if you have, in sixth grade, the ability to access a book that has pornographic acts depicted, and you have seen that across the country. So, we’ve armed parents [with] the ability to object to that and to make sure that they’re having education and not indoctrination.”

Woke activists opposing the enhanced rights of parents have mobilized talking points to “reframe” the issue as one not involving sexually inappropriate materials available to children, but about promoting “diversity”, as noted by Dan Kleinman of the group Safe Libraries:

One can only imagine what Dahl, a trenchant and withering satirist and moralist, would make of any of this, if he were alive today to pen words.

As far as his existent literary works, it may only be a matter of time before the censors come for Dahl’s adult novels, including his edgy and erotic Switch Bitch. Get your unexpurgated copies while you can.

For related reading, see “ERASING HISTORY MAKING REAL HISTORY IN 2021,” 9 March 2021.